You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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