Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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