I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
