She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
