Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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