I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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