so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
