coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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