So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
