I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
