I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
