He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I am puke
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
