sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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