What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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