lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
