Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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