i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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