Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You left your phone here
Wait...
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