We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
