why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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