Midget sex pt 2 tonight
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
