LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
