butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
