can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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