Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
