first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
