i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
