I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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