Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
