thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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