Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This baby is an asshole
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
