I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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