I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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