So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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