Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize