you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
