i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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