Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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