Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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