Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize