eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
