that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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