I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have post one night stand depression
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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