they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
