I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
