You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
