it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
