Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is the high leading the old right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
