there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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