Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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