hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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