I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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