i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize