HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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