i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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