I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
