I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
