Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
