Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
