i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
